Moving into 2022, I’m feeling a huge need to be more still, to connect with the inner me, the one centered in my heart. Trying to quiet my mind. Trying to be aware and identify the ongoing ticker of thought tape, moving across my mind-screen, like a song I put on repeat and forgot about. I don’t hear it anymore, but it’s playing in the background.

I need the space around me to be less busy and cluttered. I need almost maniacal order or I feel agitated. I want to quickly glide across a room of soft white carpet, feeling the plushness underfoot, only to see lego blocks thrown into my path, knowing my crossing will be painful, and the cleanup annoying and time-robbing.
That’s the feeling.

I also need more light. Moving a cumbersome sofa and replacing it with a simple table gave me more light.
I feel better now.

I need more beauty, more flowers, more scent, more serenity. More balanced color and order. Less haphazardness.
I arranged my bedding so it’s more pleasing. It makes me happy and restful just looking at it.
I sorted my cookbooks by category, I find things more easily now.
I got rid of the day to day placemats I never liked, and I’m setting the table with the “good ones”
Who will they please if not me?

I’m wanting fresher food. I enjoy chopping and prepping fresh vegetables, and building simple flavors with simple items. I’ve always liked cooking, but today I want to elevate it into a spiritual practice. Before, it was more of a chore. Now I’m slowing down and enjoying the rhythm of creating something with love and intention. I am slowing down so I can appreciate the food before me. The food that grows for me outside, and the food brought to me by the labors of many other souls. To feel the enormity of what actually is behind every ingredient I’m working with. The salt flats, the transport, the farmer and fisherman. The people in the factories. The support network for those people. All the centuries of people who learned and taught how to use herbs and spices.
Then finally the miracle of the food itself.
It humbles me completely.

Wheat and Poppies
Body and Soul